[oom] April Fool's Day

[hell_in_highheels]

Oh, River is not a morning person, but this prank requires some dedication and preparation.  She has her sonic screwdriver set to wake her an hour before the alarm, and she'd packed the blanket and the picnic basket the afternoon before while he was out running.

The matter of the prank itself is a simple few moments with the screwdriver on the red setting.  Quick.  Harmless.  And best of all, reversible. 

She still expects to get a bit of a hiding for it, but he did throw down the gauntlet.  Her cheeks ache from grinning at the very thought of the look on his face when he figures out just what she'd done.

Prank accomplished, she slips into her boots and shushes Damocles, swearing him to silence.  Rather, bribing him with future promises of bacon.  She leaves the note on the pillow and catches herself just before she kisses him on the cheek.  If he wakes, the surprise will be ruined before she can make her escape. 

Dear Richard~

Have been kidnapped by rabbits.  They said something about their pelts being used for "unseemly" purposes. Their leader says, if you ever want to see me again, come alone.

(crudely drawn map of the lake side and the meadow with an X)

Love,
~River

Comments

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"Well, I'll just stand upwind, won't I?" He gives her a soft smile before going after the first rabbit.

Dam drags practically a log towards them. All right, now smaller bits, Dam.

Yes, sir!

"Do you know how to build a fire?"

[hell_in_highheels]

She gives him a perplexed look. And then there's a light in her eyes.

"Show me?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"Uh." His hands are full of rabbit at the moment.

"Uh, first set those two logs parallel to each other."

He can talk her through it, right?

[hell_in_highheels]

"Oh so not a survival lesson then."

Luckily, she has a sonic screwdriver. She pulls it out and waggles it at him with a wink.

"Don't worry. I think I can handle this."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

That gets her a curious look. He...supposes she can start the fire with that, but that still doesn't mean she knows how to build one.

He has to watch what he's doing with the knife, too, though. He's getting the innards out now and tosses Dam the liver after the dog adds another stick to the growing pile.

[hell_in_highheels]

Tiny sticks at the bottom. Little sticks in a cone around that, plenty of room to breathe. Medium sticks in a cone around that. And a tripod of the larger logs around the whole lot.

She leans back and surveys her handiwork.

There's a little flash of red light and a thin ribbon of smoke is rising. She pockets the screwdriver and looks across at his own contribution, seemingly unperturbed by the whole process.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"Cheat," Richard teases as he starts spitting the first rabbit. That's enough wood, Dam.

"I don't think there's much point in starting the bacon till your rabbit gets underway. I've almost got it set."

His will be rather less cooked.

[hell_in_highheels]

She works her way over to where he's working and runs her hands across his shoulders, needing to touch him.

"Thank you. For bringing me here."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He stands up a little straighter so she doesn't have to stretch so much.

"Not at all." He's glad she doesn't mind the condition of the place. He turns under her hands, gives her a kiss tasting faintly of blood - he's been licking his fingers - and smiles. "I'm happy to do so."

[hell_in_highheels]

She barely registers the coppery taste alongside the taste of his mouth. She nuzzles against his chin, snuffling all the way to his ear. "Can we stay the night? Or is it too cold still?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Richard gives her a wry smile.

"I don't think it would hold up to that much movement."

[hell_in_highheels]

That gets a ten thousand volt grin out of her.

"Point taken."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He waggles his eyebrows at her, then hands over the spitted rabbit.

"That's yours, I believe."

[hell_in_highheels]

She takes the spit, giving the carcass a bit of a speculative glance. "Thanks." She eyes the other carcasses he's skinned and sees that hers is the only spit. Her eyes go a bit wide, her scent a mixture of curiosity and mild disgust. "Are they tastier that way?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Ryan's face is carefully blank as he holds up the second spit.

"I hadn't gotten that far yet," he says mildly, not answering her question. He was going to at least warm his up first. Now he'll probably cook it a bit more than he planned on.

[hell_in_highheels]

"Oh of course," she says. "I suppose they've been down long enough to be unpalatable. I imagine they're better while they're still warm."

She sees the look in his eyes, and tilts her head at him, her smile soft and apologetic. "That was tactless of me, wasn't it?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it kinda was. But he's not going to say anything.

He raises both eyebrows at her.

"What was?"

[hell_in_highheels]

He's sparing her feelings for some reason. She quickly looks down at the spitted rabbit in her hands, her brow furrowed for just a moment.

"Forgive me," she says. "I never quite know where the wolf stops and the man begins."

want to know you, all of you.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He doesn't quite know himself.

But her scent of disgust was...disheartening and he knows he doesn't want to cause it again.

"I don't mind cooking it," he says a bit flatly as he distracts himself by working at spitting the rabbit.

[hell_in_highheels]

Disgust as a visceral response to an unusual method of consuming food. He's changing her world view, one day at a time.

She turns to the fire and takes a moment to negotiate how to lay the spit across the flames, and ends up seated on one hip, her muddy feet tucked up beneath her skirts.

She's staring into the fire when she speaks. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intent. I mean... If we can't be ourselves when we're together, then what hope do we have?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He's finished with his own rabbit by then. He steps over to her side, stooping to flick a few small twigs away before settling down next to her. Damocles pricks his ears up at them from his side of the fire before he gets up and trots around, sniffing hopefully.

Sit. Stay, Ryan orders as he arranges his spit to his liking. "It was my impression that you'd been made uncomfortable," he says aloud, not really admitting anything.

Dam waits intently.

[hell_in_highheels]

She leans against him, very glad of the contact at this moment.

"Surprised a bit, but not uncomfortable." There is a tiny shoulder bump and the scent of a memory. "Uncomfortable is sitting at a diplomatic event, dressed to the nines, watching the Imperial ambassador eat the hind part of a singing crustacean. While the front part warbles away into silence. That? Is uncomfortable."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"...









"At least I kill mine first." Dam gets tossed the piece of liver Richard was holding.

[hell_in_highheels]

River nods. "Yes. Civilised behaviour is entirely a matter of perspective. And to be fair," she gestures at the rabbits now sizzling away on the fire, "they did try to eat me first."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He flashes teeth, one hand pulling her in protectively.

"Their second mistake."

Damocles has finished his bit and has returned to watching them. Richard rolls his eyes. There's more over there.

Yeah, but that's not as fun as seeing how much you guys'll give me. Dam scoots before Richard can (playfully) swat him.