hell_in_highheels | Entries tagged with ryan

[ after this ]

There's a fumbling at the door and no small amount of cursing in some ancient tongue. The key jangles in the lock and River opens the door, closing it behind her with her hip.

She's cradling one hand against her chest and she looks like she's been crying.

Being angry is easier than acknowledging the ache in her chest, so she's going to go with angry. For just a little bit longer.

She's standing at the window, looking out over the Scottish landscape, watching the night sky. The moon is new, and without the competing light, the stars are spectacular. River kneels up on the window seat and touches the controls that bring the opacity down to zero. Starlight isn't as bright as moonlight, but it's still enough that she can make out the horizon. The landscape is stunning.

She settles back, sitting on her heels, arms crossed over her chest, hands rubbing her upper arms, smiling up at the night sky.

He said yes.

He said yes.

She can't help but wonder... What comes next?

It had sounded perfect, she thought. Perfect.

Small. Light. Fits on an armband. Activated with a single touch, keyed to the wearer's DNA. It supposedly lasts for three hours continuous use without needing a recharge. Sure, Bar had mentioned there might be some harmless side effects.

Initially, she'd been rather enamoured of the way it looked. Like she was wearing a thin skin of oil over her entire body, only in the most beautiful shade of cobalt blue. And standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, she could see no reflection whatsoever. She did a little twirl, and noted her vision wasn't effected at all. (Moving with the privacy screen always gave her a bit of a headache.)

And then she shut it off. She pressed the button and shut it off. Off. Off. Off.

She thought it wasn't shutting off because she could still see the blue tint of the field covering her body. And then she looked up into the mirror.

Oh no.

She scrubbed her hands under the water. Nothing. She fished her sonic screwdriver out of her pocket and fiddled with the settings. She aimed it at the back of her hand and cringed as she pressed the button. A high pitched whirr filled the small room and she felt the energy field writhing over her skin. After a long moment, she looked down at her hand.

"Shite."

Day 1: Full moon tomorrow night. He looked at me over breakfast. There was a wildness and a longing in his eyes, but I cannot say whether it was for me or for some other place, some other life. He pressed his cheek to mine for a long moment before kissing me once, so briefly, and then he was gone. I wanted to follow him, like Damocles tight at his heels. My heart was in my throat as I watched the lakeside door close behind him. He didn't look back. I think I'm most glad of that. I wouldn't want him to see the tears on my cheeks. ~~~	Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950), Letters
Day 2: Full moon tonight. I can't eat. My mouth has no use for food. I drink tea because I have always drank tea, even in the machine, when food held no purpose. I miss that damned Doberman, too. Gods, I hope he's okay. ~~~	My thoughts are my company; I can bring them together, select them, detain them, dismiss them. ~ Walter Landor (1775 - 1864)
Day 3: Full moon just gone. Last day... He's done this for two years without me sitting here waiting for him. This is just the way of things. This is how it will be every month for the rest of my days, if I stay with him. I can do this. This is nothing compared to 37,000 cycles as a data ghost. This is nothing compared to meeting @ again and having him not recognise me. This is a piece of cake. He will be tired when he gets home, I imagine. A hot bath and a massage maybe. Sleep, I suspect, and well earned. I will watch him sleep with a full heart.	To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be. ~Anna Louise Strong

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today is a good day to be alive

today and everyday

Entries tagged with ryan

[oom] With Your Shield Or On It

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[oom] They Call It A Blue Screen

First Full Moon: ~margin notes~

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