[oom] April Fool's Day

[hell_in_highheels]

Oh, River is not a morning person, but this prank requires some dedication and preparation.  She has her sonic screwdriver set to wake her an hour before the alarm, and she'd packed the blanket and the picnic basket the afternoon before while he was out running.

The matter of the prank itself is a simple few moments with the screwdriver on the red setting.  Quick.  Harmless.  And best of all, reversible. 

She still expects to get a bit of a hiding for it, but he did throw down the gauntlet.  Her cheeks ache from grinning at the very thought of the look on his face when he figures out just what she'd done.

Prank accomplished, she slips into her boots and shushes Damocles, swearing him to silence.  Rather, bribing him with future promises of bacon.  She leaves the note on the pillow and catches herself just before she kisses him on the cheek.  If he wakes, the surprise will be ruined before she can make her escape. 

Dear Richard~

Have been kidnapped by rabbits.  They said something about their pelts being used for "unseemly" purposes. Their leader says, if you ever want to see me again, come alone.

(crudely drawn map of the lake side and the meadow with an X)

Love,
~River

Comments

[hell_in_highheels]

That gets a ten thousand volt grin out of her.

"Point taken."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He waggles his eyebrows at her, then hands over the spitted rabbit.

"That's yours, I believe."

[hell_in_highheels]

She takes the spit, giving the carcass a bit of a speculative glance. "Thanks." She eyes the other carcasses he's skinned and sees that hers is the only spit. Her eyes go a bit wide, her scent a mixture of curiosity and mild disgust. "Are they tastier that way?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Ryan's face is carefully blank as he holds up the second spit.

"I hadn't gotten that far yet," he says mildly, not answering her question. He was going to at least warm his up first. Now he'll probably cook it a bit more than he planned on.

[hell_in_highheels]

"Oh of course," she says. "I suppose they've been down long enough to be unpalatable. I imagine they're better while they're still warm."

She sees the look in his eyes, and tilts her head at him, her smile soft and apologetic. "That was tactless of me, wasn't it?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it kinda was. But he's not going to say anything.

He raises both eyebrows at her.

"What was?"

[hell_in_highheels]

He's sparing her feelings for some reason. She quickly looks down at the spitted rabbit in her hands, her brow furrowed for just a moment.

"Forgive me," she says. "I never quite know where the wolf stops and the man begins."

want to know you, all of you.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He doesn't quite know himself.

But her scent of disgust was...disheartening and he knows he doesn't want to cause it again.

"I don't mind cooking it," he says a bit flatly as he distracts himself by working at spitting the rabbit.

[hell_in_highheels]

Disgust as a visceral response to an unusual method of consuming food. He's changing her world view, one day at a time.

She turns to the fire and takes a moment to negotiate how to lay the spit across the flames, and ends up seated on one hip, her muddy feet tucked up beneath her skirts.

She's staring into the fire when she speaks. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intent. I mean... If we can't be ourselves when we're together, then what hope do we have?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He's finished with his own rabbit by then. He steps over to her side, stooping to flick a few small twigs away before settling down next to her. Damocles pricks his ears up at them from his side of the fire before he gets up and trots around, sniffing hopefully.

Sit. Stay, Ryan orders as he arranges his spit to his liking. "It was my impression that you'd been made uncomfortable," he says aloud, not really admitting anything.

Dam waits intently.

[hell_in_highheels]

She leans against him, very glad of the contact at this moment.

"Surprised a bit, but not uncomfortable." There is a tiny shoulder bump and the scent of a memory. "Uncomfortable is sitting at a diplomatic event, dressed to the nines, watching the Imperial ambassador eat the hind part of a singing crustacean. While the front part warbles away into silence. That? Is uncomfortable."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"...









"At least I kill mine first." Dam gets tossed the piece of liver Richard was holding.

[hell_in_highheels]

River nods. "Yes. Civilised behaviour is entirely a matter of perspective. And to be fair," she gestures at the rabbits now sizzling away on the fire, "they did try to eat me first."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He flashes teeth, one hand pulling her in protectively.

"Their second mistake."

Damocles has finished his bit and has returned to watching them. Richard rolls his eyes. There's more over there.

Yeah, but that's not as fun as seeing how much you guys'll give me. Dam scoots before Richard can (playfully) swat him.

[hell_in_highheels]

River grins at the two of them, remembering the first time she saw them playing together. It is a happy memory, and it mingles with the crackle of the fire and the smell of the woods, and the feel of his arm around her waist.

"Curious, what was their first?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"Being a prey species," he answers smugly.

He may have a bit of a predator's superiority complex.

[hell_in_highheels]

River rolls her eyes a bit. "They seemed awfully confident for a prey species, dear." She reaches out to shift her rabbit, rolling it to the other side.

She leans back against him with a heavy sigh. This isn't quite the romantic picnic she'd envisioned, but it's getting there.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Richard eyes her.

"Fair enough. Being an insignificant predator species, then."

He sniffs and turns his own rabbit. "Where's that rock? We're going to want to start heating it up if we're going to cook the bacon."

Bacon?

Just eat your rabbit, you.

[hell_in_highheels]

"Yes, bacon, Dam. And you can have my share." To Richard. "I promised."

She reluctantly gets up and retrieves the picnic basket. She returns to the fire side, and takes out a litre bottle of water, using it to wash her hands and the flat stone at the same time. She dries both her hands and the stone with her skirts. That done, she slides it closer to the fire and takes out the bacon to be warmed, laying it out in careful lines.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"He told me," Richard says dryly, watching her move about with some appreciation.

Though the skirt hides a lot.

[hell_in_highheels]

There are plates in the picnic basket, and flatware. The linen napkins are a bit muddy, but she shrugs to herself and shakes them out. Luckily the wine glasses were secured. She looks back at Richard.

"Did you want wine with breakfast or shall we save that for later?"

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"I could go for a drink," he admits, eyes flicking up to meet hers. All the excitement this morning followed by surprise hike? He's a little thirsty.

[hell_in_highheels]

She holds his gaze for a moment, a smile forming on her lips. Is that a flush of heat in her cheeks too? Perhaps.

She turns back to the basket, digging out the cork puller. It only takes a few moments of wrestling with the wine bottle before he hears a soft pop as the cork gives way. Holding both glasses in one hand and the opened bottle in the other, she returns to his side, settling down beside him with a quiet oomph.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

She smells so good.

So does the food. The bacon is starting to sizzle a bit, as is his rabbit, and he turns the latter before drawing his knife and poking at the pig bits. If it ends up sticking to the rock, he suspects Dam will get all of it and he'd like at least one slice.

[hell_in_highheels]

"Pull mine out, would you?" She gestures with her chin at the rabbit. It's just barely done enough to be considered cooked. Her hands are full as she fills both wine glasses.